*girl sends nudes*
“If only you can be here”
it’s ok if you hate me as long as I hated you first
JESSE EISENBERG: People on the street say mean things to me.
INTERVIEWER: Like what?
JESSE EISENBERG: I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
INTERVIEWER: What do you say back?
JESSE EISENBERG: I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.”
the guy who used to sell drugs to obama in high school is probably so proud of himself like damn the president got his weed from me
*gets the urge to delete all my social network accounts, drop out of school and live in the woods*
you can’t just thoreau your life away like that
I’M GOING TO PUNCH EVERYTHING