seereezy:
*girl sends nudes*
“If only you can be here”
me:
majortvjunkie:
it’s ok if you hate me as long as I hated you first
JESSE EISENBERG: People on the street say mean things to me.
INTERVIEWER: Like what?
JESSE EISENBERG: I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
INTERVIEWER: What do you say back?
JESSE EISENBERG: I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.”
hungarian:
the guy who used to sell drugs to obama in high school is probably so proud of himself like damn the president got his weed from me
juniorbizarre:
lets-have-awkward-sex:
mickjaggerstinytodger:
*gets the urge to delete all my social network accounts, drop out of school and live in the woods*
you can’t just thoreau your life away like that
I’M GOING TO PUNCH EVERYTHING
